


Confidant

by ayainu



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, hidekane, just needed to write some Hide not fighting alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:30:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12090891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayainu/pseuds/ayainu
Summary: Hide might've lost his own beating heart but at least now he knew he wasn't on his own. Hehad gained a family that loved and supported him in the form of a group of outlaws instead.(or: Hide confides in Amon and Amon is a great friend.





	Confidant

**Author's Note:**

> I didnn't tag it amonhide bc it's not supposed to be but you can think what you like. I just needed Hide to not be on his own.

****

"Nagachika.."   
  
"Hey..!"   
  
"Nagachika?"   
  
A strong grip on Hide's shoulder snapped him out of his thoughts.    
  
"...?" He looked up at Amon.   
  
"Are you okay? I've been calling you for the past minute and you were just staring off into space.."   
  
Amon had always been a caring guy, Hide appreciated that a lot. He reached for his notepad. His throat especially hurt today since he's been crying again, he couldn't afford to use his voice for a garbled response.   
  
He scrawled, quick and messy, "Yeah, sorry to worry you I just had a few things on my mind."   
  
"It must be hard, leading a rebellion," Amon joked, as good natured as ever.   
  
He let out a soft breath to indicate his amusement, but it was muffled beyond recognition behind his mask.   
  
"You're wearing it today.. it's hot that's not good for your scars Nagachika.." Amon commented, he was such a worrywart.   
  
"I feel particularly unsightly today." Hide jotted down quickly, making sure to add an emoticon to suggest that it was a joke.   
  
Amon chuckled, deep and mirthless.   
  
"Have you been crying again?" Amon stated rather than asked after an interlude of awkward silence. How fitting for an ex-investigator.   
  
Hide saw no use in suffering in the blazing summer heat now that he's been busted, so he tugged off the mask carefully. His puffy red eyes were all the confirmation Amon needed.   
  
"Want to talk about it?" Amon was such a great friend, Hide almost thought he didn't deserve his support.   
  
"Such a supportive senpai!" Hide wrote down and pulled the corners of lips as far up as they would go.   
  
"You know you can talk to me about anything," Amon scratched the back of his neck shyly.   
  
"It's not like something happened, my brain is just giving me a hard time today." Hide wrote down after a bit of a long pause.   
  
Amon looked like he was considering quite hard what to say. "Is it... him?" Amon said after a while, and of course he knew.   
  
After all, he'd been the one who told Hide a few weeks ago Kaneki's response. He was the one who'd seen Hide's face fall and his lips tremble as he'd excused himself to cry in the privacy of his room.   
  
"It seems like it always is, doesn't it?" Hide's hands were a bit shaky.   
  
"Is he really worth all the emotion you invest in him?" Amon respected Kaneki Ken for some things, but he'd never forgive the cowardice of the response he'd given him. Nagachika deserved better.   
  
"Do you think I can help it? Though I think even if I could I'd still choose this." Hide turned his pencil to erase the last bit but decided against it. Amon deserved his honesty.   
  
"I don't get it. I really don't. Why would you put yourself to a life of suffering with your own hands?"   
  
"I think..." Hide's hand paused and he tapped the pencil against his lips in thought. "That the pain is nothing next to the good memories. I'd never exchange them for anything."   
  
"..." Amon had no idea what to say in response, so he shut his mouth.   
  
"But.. Had I known I'd be abandoned anyways, I would've preferred him leaving because he knew the truth about how I felt. At least then my mind wouldn't keep tormenting me with the possibilities I dismissed and the chances I was too much of a coward to take."   
  
"You did all you could've possibly done in your situation, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself Nagachika. You're the bravest person I've ever met, so never talk about yourself like you're any less!" Amon' eyebrows knotted together in a deep frown.   
  
"I know Marude keeps making him sound like the actual incarnation of Satan, but he really is just scared. I understand that, I don't blame him at all. It's not his fault that I have feelings for him, it's not his responsibility either." Hide's dam already broke so Amon will have to sit through this, he felt bad for Amon.   
  
"It's no one's fault. But we're all scared, and we all take on these fears for the better good. He will get nowhere the way he is," Amon sighed.   
  
"I know and I worry for him, but that's how he's always been, we couldn't even talk about it since he never talked to me about any of his worries, I always had to dig up on my own." Hide flipped the page when he found no more room to write.   
  
"You're too good of a friend." Amon shook his head in exasperation and ruffled Hide's hair. Abandoning the bleach made his hair fluffier and softer. It's gotten quite long too. "Oh yeah, shouldn't you get a haircut soon? It must be hard to deal with this way."   
  
Hide's eyes focused on his notepad for a few seconds before he jotted down a quick, "Nope I'm good."   
  
Amon gave him a very meaningful look, and Hide heaved a deep sigh in response before reluctantly scrawling a shaky reply.   
  
"He used to cut my hair, I haven't cut it since the last time he did.."   
  
"You're too sentimental Nagachika..!" Amon didn't even know how this guy lived with a heart like that.   
  
"I know, I know.." he tugged his lips in the closest he could manage to resemble a smile.   
  
"Hey... If anything is bothering you again please talk to me. I can't do much, but I'm happy to listen, I always am. So please stop taking the whole burden on your own?" Amon gripped Hide's shoulder, strong but reassuring.   
  
"Thank you senpai.." Hide wrote quickly, adding the last word as a joke to ease the serious atmosphere.   
  
"Stop calling me that, Mr. terrorist organization leader." Amon laughed   
  
Hide let out the best laugh he could manage to join Amon's own hearty laughter.   
  
He might've lost his own beating heart but at least now he knew he wasn't on his own. He had gained a family that loved and supported him in the form of a group of outlaws instead


End file.
